Porch pounding—balcony boozing, terrace tippling, or gazebo guzzling, if you will—is not always the most . . . er, refined experience. It typically includes close friends, rarely involves fine glassware, and never requires a good excuse to engage. Such situations often devolve to crass humor, impulsive Instagram posts, and lazy culinary choices. The wines in question are not masquerading: they taste like fresh fruit, and may feature a bad pun or a drawing of a dog on the label. You get the idea. But on certain occasions, we might want to knock back a few glasses of crushable juice and feel fancy while we do it. Is such a thing even possible? We may dress posh, speak with civilized locution, and adopt refined mannerisms, but something is still missing: one cannot glug in style without the appropriate wine. Here are six juicy, fresh, slammable bottles with enough complexity and pedigree to make you feel like a class act while you imbibe. They are terroir-driven wines, crafted via artisanal methods by serious vignerons, that just happen to be incredibly easy to slurp down. With these Sophisticated Quaffers®, we hereby invite you to pull out the Zaltos and make patio pounding a truly dignified act.
Every three or four months I would send my clients a cheaply made list of my inventory, but it began to dawn on me that business did not pick up afterwards. It occurred to me that my clientele might not know what Château Grillet is, either. One month in 1974 I had an especially esoteric collection of wines arriving, so I decided to put a short explanation about each wine into my price list, to try and let my clients know what to expect when they uncorked a bottle. The day after I mailed that brochure, people showed up at the shop, and that is how these little propaganda pieces for fine wine were born.—Kermit Lynch
Drinking distilled spirits, beer, coolers, wine and other alcoholic beverages may increase cancer risk, and, during pregnancy, can cause birth defects. For more information go to www.P65Warnings.ca.gov/alcohol
Many food and beverage cans have linings containing bisphenol A (BPA), a chemical known to cause harm to the female reproductive system. Jar lids and bottle caps may also contain BPA. You can be exposed to BPA when you consume foods or beverages packaged in these containers. For more information, go to www.P65Warnings.ca.gov/bpa